At the same I had a friend, and spiritual mentor, ask me if I had been praying for a baby. I had done all the mechanical things to prepare for a baby but I had overlooked the most important thing - asking God to bless us with a baby. I honestly felt embarrassed that I had been struggling through this for so long on my own and had never reached out to God. I thought that this was something he wouldn't be interested in, something I could just work for and receive. It never dawned on me that He has ultimate control and power - I needed to plug into my power source!
Starting at the beginning of this year Aaron and I faithfully prayed for a baby everyday. I prayed with an expectant heart knowing God would make this happen. So, when I went to the doctor I was certain she would tell me that there was nothing wrong with me. After all, I knew that God was going to make this happen but my body had to be operating correctly.
I was absolutely devastated when I received the call from our doctor saying I was not ovulating. For those less familiar with female anatomy, ovulation is a necessity for pregnancy. She also said that we would have to wait another month to test again before I could start medication. I cried, got mad, had doubts and then I prayed. It is amazing how prayer and connection with Jesus can bring such clarity. I felt Him instantly say that He was in charge and all I needed to do was pray and believe. I decided that I was not willing to accept what the world was telling me that it was more important to listen to what God was telling me. I began to pray for a miracle in my body, for a baby.
Here are a couple excerpts from my journal:
I pray for a miracle in my body today. I know the doctor said I didn't ovulate but I pray that if it is Your will that You are knitting together a perfect baby right now in my body. I pray for this miracle knowing it would be for your glory.
I pray that You bless us with a happy, healthy, Godly child. That you are preparing the way right now and opening doors that the world has said are shut, that you are allowing my prayers to change reality.
On the morning of February 22nd I woke up certain that God had answered my prayers, that regardless of what the world says, our lives are ultimately in the hands of a loving, caring Father. I was half awake, groggy, hair all a mess when this one word popped up that changed my reality forever - Pregnant.
I yelled for Aaron. Based on my urgency, volume and excitement level I am sure he thought I would running from a spider that I wanted him to kill. When he saw the pregnancy test, he hugged me tight and I knew that our lives would never be the same.
I write this story for you - if you are struggling with anything, reach out to God. There is no prayer too big or too small, He cares and He wants to be in relationship with us.
I write this story for myself - as a reminder of the miracles he has done in my life and the way He has blessed our family. Also because this is part of my testimony of who Jesus is and who He has been in my life, how much He loves me and the importance of my utmost dependence on Him alone.
I write this story for Malia - I want her know that she has a calling on her life, that we loved her before we knew her and the most importantly she has a heavenly Father who will never leave or forsake her and that it doesn't matter what the world says, it only matters what God says, He gets the final word.
Most of all, this story is a simple reminder that PRAYER CHANGES REALITY.
I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.
1 Samuel 1:27